


Unbearable Cuteness

by mysticsushi



Category: Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Genre: F/M, Future Fic, M/M, ridiculous cuteness
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-06-09
Updated: 2014-06-09
Packaged: 2018-02-03 23:24:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,447
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1759569
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mysticsushi/pseuds/mysticsushi
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Giles and Xander baby-sit</p>
            </blockquote>





	Unbearable Cuteness

**Author's Note:**

> I actually know nothing about the language skills of children, so if the ones in this fic seem advanced . . . well, you now know why.

"Why do we always get stuck with rugrat duty?"

Xander sat down next to Giles on a picnic bench in the backyard of Buffy and Riley Finn. It was a couple hours before sunset, the perfect time for outdoor play. Behind them was a deck, which had a table and several chairs on it. In front of them were two trees and a large playground set. Several outdoor toys were scattered around the yard.

"Because we don't have children."

"You know, there's a reason for that."

"Quite right. We're not physiologically capable of it."

Xander scowled. "No one likes a British know-it-all."

Giles chuckled. "You do."

"Don't even start that," Xander said, shaking a finger at the Englishman. "I'll be forced to prove that my judgement is no good, and that way lies badness."

Giles reached out and grabbed Xander's finger. "Then I won't start."

He pulled Xander close, gently tugging on the captured finger. Xander went willingly, leaning ever closer until their lips were touching. Once there was contact, Giles moved his lips against Xander's in a smooth rhythm.

"Ooooh, Unca Xan an' Unca Giles are kissin'," a childish voice taunted.

"Mommy's gonna be so mad," a second young voice added.

The two men pulled away and turned to look at the intruders. Both children had sandy colored hair and hazel eyes. Their identical five-year-old faces were chubby with youth, their cuteness hinting at the knockouts they would eventually become. The only really noticeable difference between the two was that one was a girl and one was a boy.

“And how would Mommy find out, Joy?” Xander asked the little girl.

“She tol’ us ta tell her an’ Daddy if you were kissin’ while watchin’ us,” Joy replied.

Xander and Giles shared a calculated look, before Xander moved to crouch down before the twins. “What will it take to keep you two quiet?”

Before either child could respond, another person joined the conversation. “I wouldn’t do that. The price will keep going up.”

Giles turned to look behind him, where the latest child to speak sat coloring at a patio table. She had red hair, like her mother, blue eyes, like her father, and a serious expression that always seemed to be in place. There was no way to really judge, but the seven-year-old seemed to have inherited the petiteness of her parents, as well.

“Why do you say that, Jessie?”

Jessie didn’t look up from her coloring book. “Because Aunt Anya and Uncle Spike give them stuff to keep them quiet, and they keep asking for more.”

“Do not!” the twins cried simultaneously.

“Ask them where they got their new video games,” Jessie said.

“We bought ‘em,” the boy, Liam, said, glaring at the older girl. Joy nodded and crossed her arms defiantly.

“I see,” Giles said. He took his glasses off, pulled out a handkerchief, and began cleaning the lenses. “Why don’t you two run along and play. We’ll worry about your parents.”

Muttering something that sounded like “tattletale”, Liam and Joy turned and ran to the playground set. It was clear that the redhead would be considered the enemy for quite some time. It was also clear that Jessie didn’t really care.

Just as the five-year-olds became fully occupied with the swings, a piercing wail sliced through the air. “Mama! Mamma!” a young voice screamed over and over again.

“Sounds like the little one’s up,” Xander said as he picked up a baby monitor and turned it off. “I’ll go get her.”

Roughly twenty minutes later, he returned carrying a small child, who in turn was cradling a teddy bear in her arms. Her face was framed by wavy brown hair, which matched her chocolate brown eyes. One of her hands let go of the teddy bear long enough to rub at her cheek just below her eye.

“One napped, diapered, and pampered two-year-old accounted for,” Xander said, setting her down on the grass in front of the bench. “She’s not too happy Fred and Wes aren’t here, but what else is new?”

The two-year-old in question stood for a moment, blinking at the men, before collapsing into a sitting position. “Bonzour,” she said, holding her teddy bear close.

“Looks like Willow’s been teaching the kids French again,” Giles commented.

“She really needs to stop that,” Xander grumbled. He retrieved a soft ball from elsewhere in the yard, then say back down on the bench next to Giles. “Here you go, Shelly.”

Shelly looked intently at the ball before letting go of her teddy bear to pick it up. After another moment of study she threw it, letting out a delighted laugh when it landed a couple feet away. She grinned at the two, and, after handing Giles her stuffed animal, went after the ball.

“So what are we going to tell Buffy and Riley?” Xander asked Giles. “They’re not going to be happy, especially Buffy, and I know those two aren’t going to keep silent.”

“We tell them the truth,” Giles replied. “You got hurt, and I kissed you to make it better. It’s not like we were making out like randy teenagers.” He paused. “And if that doesn’t work, we can always tell them what we now know about Anya and Spike.”

Xander snorted. “Can’t we see what we can blackmail out of those two first?”

“If it’s between blackmail and self-preservation . . .”

“Yeah, yeah.” Xander sighed. “I know. It would probably just lead to us having to baby-sit more, since Angel and Lindsey are now officially banned from watching the kids.”

Giles chuckled. “They should have known better, especially with the twins around.”

“Hey, I laughed the hardest when Buffy literally kicked Angel out of the house. But we now get less alone time because Angel couldn’t keep it in his pants.”

“We could always say no,” Giles said.

Before Xander could respond, he felt a slight tug on his pant leg. He looked down to see Shelly holding up a flower from the garden. “‘Phie, ‘Phie,” she said, her smile just big enough to shower her upper front teeth.

“Thanks, Shelly,” Xander said, taking the flower from her. She held out her arms and he picked her up, giving her a big hug. When he set her down, she turned to Giles for more of the same before taking back her teddy bear and toddling off again.

“That’s why we don’t say no,” Xander told Giles, his eyes still on Shelly.

“They are rather precious, aren’t they?”

The younger man nodded, a small smile forming on his lips. “Unbearable cuteness. But God help us when Cordy’s kid gets here in a few months. That one’s going to be a force to reckon with.”

Giles smiled and took Xander’s hand in his own. “From the way Gunn talks, I don’t think those two will need a baby-sitter for quite some time. He doesn’t plan to let his child out of his sight.”

“That’s what Riley said, and look how fast he called us after the twins arrived.”

“True.” Giles looked down at their entwined hands, stroking Xander’s fingers gently. “At least we don’t have to worry about Anya and Spike having any kids.”

At that, Xander nodded vigorously. “Thank heavens for sterile vampires.”

They remained outside a little while longer, until it was half an hour until sunset. Early on when they first started baby-sitting, the two men had learned to let the kids tire themselves out as much as possible. It was much easier to get them to bed when the time came.

“Come on, you guys!” Xander called to the twins, who were playing catch. He walked over to where Shelly was sitting and picked her up. “Time for diner.”

“But Unca Xander . . .” Liam began.

“But Uncle Xander, nothing. It’s almost sunset, and you know the rules. Now come on.”

Joy was the one to respond. She grabbed her brother’s arm and tugged at him until he moved on his own toward the house. Jessie was packing up her coloring equipment and followed the children inside. After one last glance around the yard, Xander followed.

“One minute,” Giles said, laying a hand on Xander’s arm to stop him. He looked inside the house to make sure none of the kids were looking, then placed a gentle kiss on Xander’s lips. Shelly then leaned forward and gave each man a kiss, as well.

Laughing, Xander shifted the child in his arms. “Let’s go get some food. The sooner the kids eat, the sooner they go to bed.” He winked at Giles. “And then we can find out just what Angel and Lindsey found so irresistible about the living room couch.”


End file.
